(On a dark night A and B are in the woods when something scatters in the shrubs ahead)
A; psst hey what was that
B; how should I know
(pushing each other)
A; go check it out
B; no way you do it
A; well someone has to
B; all right lets both do it
(both a&b count to 3 while jumping in the shrubs)
A; look it's just a turkey
B; a broken turkey lets eat it
A; no way
B; why not it’s food
A; ya, but we don't know how to skin it pluck it or let alone cook it
B; well what do we do with it
A; lets go away
B; pussy
A; hey I’m not a pussy it's just
(interrupting)
B; what this turkey was sent here from God to us and as it says in the bible 'thou who be blessed with turkey thou shall eat it', and your acting like we need to A; To what run away with my dick between my legs screaming like a lil b****B; Wow I was just going to say to walk away, but nice touch
A; seriously what are some things we can do?
B; well there’s several things we can do we can kill it, boil it, or let it stay and die take your pick
A; or we could help it
(Person B replies)
B; why
A; maybe, because it’s about to die
B; it’s not about to die
A how do you know?
B; because it only has a broken leg
A; still just ask yourself what would Jesus do
B; alright lets help the damn thing, you didn’t have to pull the Jesus card on me
(Getting the turkey into A’s garage they strap it down to the table)
Turkey: gobble gobble
A: shut that turkey up
(B whispers as he says)
B; we should slit its throat
(A overhears and says)
A: what’s the matter with you everything is kill this and destroy that, what is with you?
B; nothing, I’m just saying it’s an option
A; I thought you believed in God
(B gets a serious look on his face as he says)
B; that’s the last God card you get
A; alright you don’t have to get so defensive about it.
(Grabbing duck tape a says to b)
A: here strap this to his mouth
(Strapping the tape across the turkeys mouth b looks over at a as he’s about to pop the turkeys leg back into place….SNAP)
A; well now that that’s done, let it go and we’ll be back tomorrow.
(Looking confused b asks a)
B; were not letting it go?
A; not yet it needs to rest, and its leg needs training, we’ll be back in the morning to see how it is
(The next morning A and B open the barn to see the turkey in fear, a puts food in his hand and gradually approaches the turkey, B asks)
B: what are you doing?
A; we need the turkey to trust us before we can help it
(As the turkey takes the food from a’s hand, b says in a dramatic tone says)
B; lets train
(B turns on the radio, as eye of the tiger plays the turkey is doing cardio activities, as the song ends a 1 month sign floats across the stage)
(A says aloud)
A; the turkey looks great
B; it sure does, it should be able to run faster then ever before
(As A and B open the barn doors the turkey walks out taking one last look back at a and b before returning to his home, a says while weeping)
A; Goodbye turkey
(A loud shot streams past there ears as they see the turkey lying in a puddle of it’s own blood, a and b both let out a loud No as they see a dark figure arise from the bushes, as the figure gets closer A sees who it is his father)
Dad: this turkey putting food on our plates tonight boys
(At the dinner table B says to A)
B: I guess the lesson is when God blesses us with turkey thou shall eat the turkey
(Fadeout as The End shines in the background)
